Entries tagged with [character] paxton carlyle

Entry tags:

"When I cannot hold it all, I find my friend the alcohol."

Who: Merlin Blake, Brandon Blake, Jaxson Colt, and Paxton Carlyle
What: Poor Choices
Where: Merlin/Brandon's Place & Paxton/Jaxson's Place, NYC
When: After this

After reassuring Jesse about twenty times in the cab that he was fine and didn’t need him to come up with him, Merlin unlocked their apartment door with the security codes and headed inside, letting the door swing close behind him. He dumped his keys and wallet on the entrance table with a heavy sigh, then braced his hands on the edge of it, scrutinizing his appearance in the large circular mirror on the wall. His face was still a bit blotchy and swollen from the crying but he didn’t feel quite so wound up and tense now he had offloaded everything to his brothers. It didn’t change anything. Everything was still stressful and scary but Damien and Jesse were always able to offer wise words when his emotions spun into overdrive, something that had been happening a lot since he fell in love with a guy who almost died of cancer.

His gaze shifted to the aqua Venetian glass dish in the middle of the entrance table that was empty, telling him that Brandon still wasn’t home. It was habit for his husband to always empty his pockets into the dish when he got home so he didn’t lose anything important. That had become even more so now, because Brandon suffered on and off from ‘chemo brain’ where his short-term memory could be a bit spotty or vague if he was tired or having a bad day. There had been a lot of things they needed to put in place around Brandon to aid his recovery after his intensive treatment. Merlin would never not be proud of how well he had done since then. None of this latest turn of events was about that. It was so much more complicated.

( Taking his phone out, Merlin brought up Brandon’s number on the screen but after just a few moments, changed his mind and shoved it back in his pocket... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"I can't brave this alone, quarantine my heart, baby."

Who: Jaxson Colt, Paxton Carlyle, Brandon Blake and Merlin Blake
What: Double Date-ish
Where: Brandon and Merlin's Place, Upper East Side, NYC
When: Quarantine O'Clock, like everyone else

Brandon had only been released from hospital mere days before lockdown hit and he went from an isolation ward in hospital to basically the exact same thing at home. Jaxson and Paxton were staying with them, so they were all under the same - thanksfully very large - roof when the New York quarantine orders came. It was a surreal time, so say the least, but Jaxson was glad he was here, even if he knew his family in Australia were worried like hell that he was basically in the epicentre of coronavirus hell in New York.

Paxton's condition hadn't improved like his doctors hoped and he still couldn't walk. He wasn't paralysed, he just didn't have function in his legs to hold him up. Jaxson stuck to his word and wanted to stay with him, try dating, help him. It wasn't easy. Paxton didn't want to talk much about what happened or about the chance the meningococcal meningitis might've left him with permanent or long-term disability. Jaxson was still learning how to navigate that. On the upside, Paxton was the sweetest guy with a great sense of humour, so he was in relatively decent spirits, all things considered. It was just a weird time for everyone and they were in the same boat... they both had family overseas they were worried about, and vice versa.

They were Netflix-and-Chilling (literally, not figuratively, because sex wasn't a subject Paxton wanted to talk about either) on the sofa when Brandon and Merlin came into the livingroom to join them, albeit very slowly. Brandon was still very weak and had basically been on total bedrest, needing help to get around, so Jaxson was surprised to see him up. "Wow, he's risen! What did you do to deserve the good behaviour release, mate?"

Entry tags:

"If you know what it's like, to dream a dream. Baby, hold me tight and let this be."

Who: Damien Larson and Liam Morgan with Justin Campbell, Jesse Hartley, Merlin Blake and Rose Shaw
What: Mother of all fucking surprises!
Where: New York City
When: Backdated : During this

Damien was in his absolute fucking element. Justin was bringing the house down and Damian was loving every minute of watching from the edge of the stage. His supporting act set to open for Justin had been a huge hit and he just got word that the entire stock of his album had sold out at the merch stand. He wished he had listened to Justin, who told him to bring more. He had been so sure the audience was only there for Justin and he was just along for the ride to get exposure to hopefully pull him from the indie market to mainstream. During the whole tour, he was booked to join Justin on various media commitments. He also knew everything Justin had planned for his show and he was still blown away.

Or at least… so he thought he knew everything. After the last big number where Justin danced with his backup dancers led by Harry and Brody, the dancers all piled off and Justin took his microphone from the stand when the setlist showed a brief break and costume change at this point.

( Justin took one of his earpieces from his ear so he could hear the crowd and the lights went up so he could see at least the first few rows of the audience, who were screaming and cheering... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

" And we're intact incredibly. Disimpermenent, disability."

Who: Jaxson Colt and Paxton Carlyle (and Liam Morgan later)
What: Little bit of progress
Where: Neurological Unit, Mount Sinai
When: After this

While Brandon’s condition deteriorated, Paxton had been improving little by little. It gave Jaxson something to take his mind off the fact there was a significant chance Brandon could die and he would never have another conversation with him again. He understood why he couldn’t visit him at the moment but it still hurt and he didn’t really know how to process any of this. Even though Paxton was still quite unwell in his recovery and they didn’t know what long-term issues he could have, he had been a really good listener when Jaxson poured his heart out about how he was feeling.

They finally got some good news about Paxton’s condition too. Evan had come on board as his treating Neurologist and he had been trialling some meds that could help Paxton with his vertigo and the fact he either threw up or passed out (sometimes both) whenever they tried to sit him up for longer than a couple of minutes. The medication meant Paxton started to feel a lot better and could be upright with just a little controlled nausea and lightheadedness. He still couldn’t feel his legs and he had on and off numbness and pins and needles in his arms, but it was a huge improvement.

( So much so that Evan thought it might be okay for them to try to get Paxton out of bed for a bit and after gradually sitting him up more and more, that morning, they got him into a wheelchair so Jaxson could take him down to the visitors lounge at the end of the hall with views over Central Park... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"I'm standing on a stage of fear and self-doubt."

Who: Jaxson Colt and Paxton Carlyle (with Liam and Miles)
What: Pieces of memories
Where: ICU, Mount Sinai
When: After this

Jaxson was at home - aka, Brandon and Merlin’s place - taking a shower when his phone rang. Because things were pretty precarious with Brandon’s condition right now, he didn’t want to miss any calls in case he had taken a turn for the worse. If that happened, he was going to be at the hospital, no questions asked. He still had shampoo in his hair and suds on his body when he took the call, surprised to see it was Liam.

After Liam told him Paxton was a little more lucid now and was up to seeing him, Jaxson, of course, wanted to know if Paxton remembered him at all. He said Paxton had holes in his memory, it wasn’t isolated to Jaxson but Pax took the news about him well and asked to see him. Liam just told him to prepare himself that Pax might not be up to too much but he had recovered enough to understand when Liam told him about Jaxson and enough to ask to meet him. But Paxton still didn’t have any feeling in his legs and his speech wasn’t the best. Jaxson was prepared, he was just terrified because he didn’t want to distress Paxton in any way.

( He was too distracted to bother with worrying about what to wear... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"Superhero, save my life tonight."

Who: Brandon Blake, Merlin Blake and Jaxson Colt (with a bit of Liam and Miles)
What: And so, it begins...
Where: Oncology Unit, Mount Sinai
When: After this

Brandon hardly slept the night before. He must have fallen asleep somewhere around three and the alarm went to wake them at five to get to the hospital by six thirty. It was a lengthy admission process this time. He wasn’t just coming for an outpatient chemo infusion this time. They were checking him in to start the transplant conditioning therapy and total body irradiation to kill off all the cancer cells in his body and make room for the new bone marrow. During this time, Merlin would be taking a special medication to stimulate growth of his white cells to be able to give the best bone marrow donation possible.

Starting the whole transplant process was terrifying and confronting but he knew it was his only way of possible survival. Without it, the leukemia would kill him in within a couple of months, at most. That didn’t make Brandon feel hopeful because there was no guarantee it would work. That was probably what made it so hard going into. He was subdued and quiet through the admission process. He was glad Merlin and Jaxson were there with him because all the questions, poking, and prodding were putting him on edge. At least, until Tara came sat down to talk with him and Merlin before she hooked up the infusion, getting him to open up a little about how he was feeling and what he was worried about. She ended up giving him a shot of Valium and coaxed him to try to sleep if he could once the infusion started.

( Brandon watched as the nurse connected his central line to the chemo IVs and hooked him up to some fluid therapy in case he felt dehydrated, nauseous, or dizzy... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"Waking up to find your love's not real."

Who: Liam Morgan, Jaxson Colt, Damien Larson, and Paxton Carlyle
What: Long road to recovery
Where: ICU, Mount Sinai
When: Few days after this

Christian ordered Paxton’s sedation to be eased off three days ago and it took that long before he started responding. Liam juggled his roster and called in a few favours to have a few days free so he could sit with Paxton in case he came around. He wanted to be there to know what Paxton’s condition was and is there were any serious complications from the meningococcal. It could be a long waiting game but throughout the night, Paxton had been showing signs of regaining consciousness. In the morning, he had woken on and off briefly but he wasn’t really conscious but responded to pain. It was a good sign.

( Liam sat with him and went through way too much coffee than was healthy. Damien was there more often than not... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"What does it take, hospitals and heartbreak."

Who: Brandon Blake and Merlin Blake with Liam Morgan, Jesse Hartley, and Jaxson Colt
What: Going through the motions
Where: Mount Sinai, NYC
When: Couple of days after this

Merlin was on the phone to Damien, getting an update on what was happening with Paxton and the domino effect set in motion when the tests confirmed he had meningococcal meningitis. But he was holding Brandon’s hand at the same time, watching him stare at the radiology images on the screen of an iPad. Things had been feeling a little like they were in overdrive since they got back to the city. Paxton falling seriously sick and Jaxson’s chances of contracting it high because they had been intimate meant Brandon was understandably stressing about his BFF. Even more so because he wasn’t allowed near him. If Brandon so much as caught a minor infection, there was significant risk it could kill him.

( He stroked his thumb across Brandon’s knuckles, taking in the updates Damien was giving him... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"We need medicine and we need it now."

Who: Liam Morgan and Jaxson Colt
What: Medical Protocol
Where: Mount Sinai, NYC
When: After this

Jaxson was dressed in a hospital gown with standard hospital-issue blue scrubs pants, pacing beside a hospital bed in a room he had been placed in alone soon after Paxton was rushed to hospital in an ambulance pretty much as soon as the plane landed. They didn’t even take the plane up to one of the gates to get him off. The ambulance was down on the tarmac to meet them and Jaxson had never been so terrified in his life. This was on par with how scared he had been seeing Brandon’s cancer post on Instagram. As soon as they were at the hospital, Paxton was rushed away up the hall by a frenzied team of doctors and nurses, disappearing through a pair of doors that heavily swung shut in their wake.

Then Jaxson was whisked away to this hospital room, told to change out of his clothing, and immediately hooked up to IV antibiotics. He tried to ask the nurse what-the-fuck was happening and whether Paxton was going to die but all she could do was tell him a doctor would be by to see him soon. He wanted to know where the fuck Liam was because he promised he would be at the hospital when Paxton got there but Jaxson hadn’t seen him. He hadn’t seen anyone and all the texts he had tried to send went unanswered. He hadn’t even been able to get a reply from Brandon, who he thought might be able to get some info through Merlin. It felt like a big gaping void of nothingness, especially considering the nurse told him not to leave the room.

( Soon, Liam came into the room wearing purple scrubs and a surgical face mask... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"Oh now feel it, comin' back again Like a rollin', thunder chasing the wind."

Who: Liam Morgan and Damien Larson (with Paxton Carlyle and Jaxson Colt)
What: Medical Emergencies
Where: Cape Cod, MA
When: After this

No matter how calm Liam had remained on the phone call with Jaxson, that had been 100% his doctor brain that took over. As soon as the call ended, his PTSD panic brain kicked in and he nearly fell out of the deck chair trying to get out of it so quickly. He bolted into the beachside apartment he and Damien had rented in Cape Cod to stay the couple of days until their wedding. “I need to leave! I need to get back to New York!” He grabbed his bag from the closet, tossing it onto the bed as Damien came out of the attached bathroom.

“Wait, what? But the wedding…” Damien blinked, mouth hanging open as he watched Liam shove his clothes into the bag in a messy knot. All of Liam’s clothes were designer and he always treated them with top-notch care.

Liam nearly ripped one of his linen shirts pulling it off the hanger too quickly and getting it caught on the knob of the closet door. “Postpone it. Cancel it. I don’t care. I need to fucking get back. All the flights are booked. We’ll have to drive. We need to leave now!”

( Damien thought for the briefest of few moments that Liam had a massive sudden case of cold feet about getting married and was trying to pull a runaway groom... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"Hey doctor just what do you diagnose? There ain't a surgeon like you any place in all the world."

Who: Paxton Carlyle and Jaxson Colt (with Liam Morgan by phone)
What: "Fever sure has got me good."
Where: En-route, Paris to NYC
When: After this and this

Shortly after checking in on their return flight from Paris to New York, it was soon announced that the flight was cancelled for some reason or another and they had to wait to be put on another flight out. If Paxton didn’t have such a splitting headache, he would probably want to let loose a string of uncharacteristic expletives. All he wanted to do was get back to New York so he could get the connecting flight up to Cape Cod to be there for Liam’s wedding ceremony. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t a ‘real’ wedding or that it was ‘small’. Liam was getting married, he wanted Paxton to be his Best Man, and Paxton didn’t care that he had to fly to Paris and back in two nights to work a fashion show he booked a year ago. For Liam, he would do it.

But his headache made the whole thing seem extra stressful and the Ibuprofen he was popping didn’t seem to be touching it. He couldn’t even blame a hangover because he hadn’t had a drink since Merlin’s wedding. He had woken up in the middle of the night feeling a little rough but he put it down to jetleg and went back to bed. He woke up with the headache and only had an espresso for breakfast hoping the caffeine would give him a bit of a boost of energy. He wasn’t usually a coffee drinker. He was born and bred in London, he was a tea snob with the best of them. But tea didn’t break through tiredness like coffee.

He and Jaxson spent two nights in London which was pretty much one luxurious hookup. They chatted for ages at Merlin and Brandon’s wedding and Jaxson asked him if he wanted to come back to the guest house he was staying at for the night. But Paxton had to take a red-eye flight back to New York City to catch his connecting flight to Paris the following morning. So, he told Jaxson he was welcome to come to Paris with him if he didn’t mind multiple timezone hops in a couple of days. And it was fun. But Paxton realised through the whole thing that he didn’t get much satisfaction out of the casual sex thing. He preferred the idea of dating, slowburn, building up to it, sex with feeling. He wondered if he had just been spoiled in is relationship with Liam and wondered while he was working at the fashion show why everyone seemed to think casual sex was awesome. It was nothing, at all, on Jaxson. He was great and it was pretty awesome sex, in essense. But it lacked something significant Paxton was obviously looking for.

( By the time they were put on another flight, Paxton was tired and relieved to just get on the damn plane... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

[ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Liam @ wannabesurgeon

Flight's been delayed in Paris. I don't know if I'll make it back to Cape Cod in time. So sorry, Li x

Entry tags:

[ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Brandon @ signofthetimes

So... I'm kind of in Paris.

"How to save a life."

Who: Brandon Blake, Merlin Larson, Lachlan Campbell, Tara Campbell and Wesley Knight plus anyone else tagging in!
What: Wedding Reception, cont...
Where: Cape Cod, MA
When: After this and this

Brandon was sitting on the floor with Merlin's head in his lap, fanning him with a copy of their wedding program and holding some dampened napkins to his forehead. After the shock of the news had Merlin passing out cold on the dancefloor, they got him out of the crowded reception hall into a little annexe room out the back so he could breathe and have some space. Breathing and space was exactly what Brandon needed to try to process this but at this point 'try' was as good as he got. He couldn't even remember how to speak but Merlin still being out cold was a distraction for him to focus on without having to think about the hard stuff.

Lachlan and Tara had come through with them (Lachlan was the one who had to carry Merlin) and Wesley followed in a panic. Brandon understood that Merlin's family probably wanted to come check he was okay but he appreciated that they stayed into the main hall for the moment. He needed time to process. It had already been a fucking emotional day so this felt like he was either running out of emotions to process or he was literally emotionally spent.

Merlin started to come-to and Brandon rubbed his chest softly. "It's okay, sweetheart. Just take it slow."

Entry tags:

"Revelations and heartaches make you realize I was always in front of you."

Who: Liam Morgan and Paxton Carlyle with a little bit of Damaien Larson
What: Working through it
Where: Morgan/Watson/Carlyle/Larson Apartment, NYC
When: Same time as this

It had been a hell of a ‘break’ away in Cape Cod and the ride home proved to be just as eventful when Jace had a seizure on the final leg of the drive. Liam and Damien drove with Jesse and Jace in case of this type of emergency (Jace couldn’t fly) while Merlin, Brandon, Wesley, and Noah flew home on Brandon’s private jet. They would have arrived home hours ago and Merlin and Brandon would go straight from the airport to the hospital for Brandon’s chemo session.

Liam realised how tired he was after the drive and helping Jesse get Jace home safely when he tried to open the apartment door with his phone and then fumbled his keys and dropped them twice. “I’m seriously knackered,” he murmured, giving Damien a tired smile after stooping to pick them up again. “I wish we could crawl into bed together for one hell of a nap. Shame you have to pick up your parents from the airport.” He leaned in so they could share a soft kiss but it inevitably turned into something longer and more heated when Damien pressed Liam up against the door in their embrace.

( Damien groaned and reluctantly broke the kiss, shifted to adjust himself in his jeans... )

LOG, COMPLETE

Entry tags:

"When I cannot hold it all, I find my friend the alcohol."

"I can't brave this alone, quarantine my heart, baby."

"If you know what it's like, to dream a dream. Baby, hold me tight and let this be."

" And we're intact incredibly. Disimpermenent, disability."

"I'm standing on a stage of fear and self-doubt."

"Superhero, save my life tonight."

"Waking up to find your love's not real."

"What does it take, hospitals and heartbreak."

"We need medicine and we need it now."

"Oh now feel it, comin' back again Like a rollin', thunder chasing the wind."

"Hey doctor just what do you diagnose? There ain't a surgeon like you any place in all the world."

[ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Liam @ wannabesurgeon

[ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Brandon @ signofthetimes

"How to save a life."

"Revelations and heartaches make you realize I was always in front of you."

[ FACEBOOK ] with Paxton Carlyle

[ FACEBOOK ]

[ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Liam @ wannabesurgeon

[ FACEBOOK ] with Liam Morgan

[ FACEBOOK ]